Hooray for Diabetes!

So apparently Coca-Cola's official legal defense against charges that their marketing of "vitamin water" as some sort of health drink was more or less that "no one actually believes our flashy marketing—it's obviously nonsense." 

Oh my. 

You know, if I didn't know better, I'd start to wonder if maybe the Diabetes-Apostles of America (a.k.a. Coke) don't actually have my best interests at heart. But they do, obviously, because everybody knows that sugar is healthy and good, and that drinking large quantities of it will basically turn me into a professional-caliber athlete. 

Obviously.