Tuesday, February 28, 2017


In 2016 I lost a bunch of screenwriting contests to a woman named Geeta Malik. A woman who isn't just a win-everything sorta person (the Nicholl, AFF for comedy, etc.), she's also a swell person who I'm happy to now count as a friend.

She is also the director of a bunch of short films and a feature. Because she's way too self-effacing, her stuff hasn't been watched nearly as much as it should. So here's a short of hers called "Shameless."


Saturday, February 18, 2017

fixer-upper kids

I've been rewriting an old script this past week with the help of my favorite critic, Wife-Hannah.

GINSENG tells the story of an alcoholic veteran who angers territorial locals when he drags his estranged son on a camping trip in the Appalachians. 

It's startling to go six or seven scripts into the past and realize just how ugly this little word-baby of mine has gotten by way of comparison to my other, newer, more patently attractive children. It's also fun to see this evidence that I've improved. I've had great fun rewriting it - prettying it up with all my newly-developed word-ninja skills. 

If you're curious, you can check out the first few pages of the script HERE.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

today we are (once again) obliged to be romantic...

It's everyone's favorite (fake) holiday, and we're all scrambling to conform to somebody else's idea of what it means to love another person in an eros-tinged way. Not me, not me! For I have married a woman who thinks all that is hogwash. Who hates sentimentality. Whose idea of love is a good book in the sunshine.

Ergo, I am once again posting the poem I created for her on our first Saint Valentines Day, cobbled together from the first lines of thirty of the (apparently) most romantic poems ever written in the English language.

It is a joke, yes... but one I mean with all my heart, spleen, and liver. 


Saturday, February 11, 2017

a river in Egypt

Five or six years ago, an old friend of mine posted a video to Facebook that depicted him participating in the killing of several human beings.

Comments on the video were immediate and congratulatory, with enthusiasm over the efficiency and efficacy of the killing. Most of the people who were commenting were also old friends of mine. Most of them professed to be Christians. And as I recall, a good number of those people went on to become avid social-media supporters of Mister President Man-Baby.*

This was back before it had become too painful to me to watch professing Christians betray/violate/torment the Jesus they claimed to serve, again and again. Before I left Facebook behind in disgust.

So I commented my displeasure.

Monday, February 6, 2017

Support your local POUNDER

Just a reminder that my novel "POUNDERS" is still available, still highly-starred on Amazon, still a funny, fun, poignant way to spend a few hours of your life.

But while you're waiting for your copy to arrive in the mail, here are some pictures from my time spent planting hundreds of thousands of trees by hand in the Canadian wilderness (see more below the jump):

Kevin and Paul make a little morning-time music.

Friday, January 27, 2017


Just found this in an old sketchbook. I have no recollection of having painted it, but it's there so I must have. Perhaps the multiple brain injuries I sustained in my youth are catching up to me. Ah, well. Enjoy.

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