Friday, December 9, 2016

I Love Zach Anner!

This man is hilarious. I have subscribicated to him on the youtubes. Why have you not yet subscribicated to him on the youtubes? Do it. Now. Do it (also: donate).

Thursday, December 8, 2016

My Hilarious Wife

My hilarious wife thinks she's hilarious. So after she put a new ribbon in her typewriter tonight, she hilariously tested it by writing the following hilarious letter:

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

WESTWORLD, SEASON ONE: How to Stop Being a Mindless Drone and Start Making Actual Decisions About Your Life

Is it true?

Is it pain that makes us human?

Is it pain that forces us to think deeply about where we've come from, who we are, and who we must become? Is it pain that forces us to consider possible future-worlds, and to reconfigure ourselves so as to shape the world around us into something else... something we consider "better?"

The first season of the HBO series "Westworld" has asked us to consider these possibilities, and I think they're right.

Given the option, a comfortable, pain-free human will always follow a comfortable loop. He/she will never dig deep into the marrow of his or her own existence. I have many, many friends who seem destined to live their entire lives never questioning their received narrative in any significant way, and in my experience only blunt-force emotional trauma is enough to force them out of that rut.

Heck, I am a poo-disturbing Artist, wired to question everything, all the time: but I'm still a bit of a rut-rider. The only times I've ever done a noticeable U-turn on (what I now consider to be) bad thinking are after traumatic events like my divorce, or the election of Donald Trump.

Perhaps this new season of American Meltdown will be just the thing this country needs to redirect from some of its more dangerous story-loops.

Here's hopin'.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Here We Go Again...

This is what my film scripts look like before I type "FADE IN."

After months of research and pre-writing, it's exciting to be at this point... but also terrifying. No more can I just scribble, "and then the Protagonist says something zeitgeisty and cool that becomes a rallying cry for the disaffected people of this story's universe (and, fingers-crossed, our own)."

Now it's real. Now I have to actually write it.

Sunday, November 27, 2016


This past week when my fellow grunt-laborer Andrew and I were painting a room booby-foot blue, he said to me, "Josh, all my other friends were sure there was no way Trump was gonna win. You were the only one saying all along that he was gonna be the next president, so... how did you know? Were you just being cynical, or what?"

For a nanosecond, I considered the possibility that I might actually have powers. Then I answered...

"I guess if I'm honest, I was just sort of being cynical. Part of me didn't really believe something that grotesque could happen. But on the other hand, I really did think it would, because I have absolutely ZERO faith in 'the American People.' As individuals they're generally quite lovely. But the shrieking masses...? Monsters, the lot of them."

Andrew thought about this for a moment.

"Still, you were the only one predicting this would happen. So, what do you think'll happen next?"

Well, now.

It's one thing to look at the general temperature of fear, selfishness, greed, violence, and despair in the nation and assume that the sheeple are gonna run screaming, en masse, off the nearest political cliff. It's quite another to predict the specific future of a man characterized by unhinged unpredictability.

So instead...

A Few Possible Futures of the Yellow-Headed Booby, Emperor Trump:

Friday, November 25, 2016

The perfect Christmas present for your favorite bibliophile...

Have a friend/lover/enemy-you-want-to-make-amends-with who loves books?

Why not pick up a copy of my second novel, POUNDERS?

POUNDERS tells the story of a pair of brothers who venture into the wilderness of northern Canada for what the BBC has called one of the toughest jobs on the planet. To write it, I drew on a decade of summers spent in the world of industrial reforestation, bringing you a visceral tale of love, loss, and hand-planted trees.

Here are some of the things reviewers are saying about POUNDERS on amazon:

"In 'Pounders' Josh captures the essence of the tree planting experience... He does it with self-deprecating humor and a beauty of language that is a joy to read..."

- Jason

"Nine summers in planting camps have left me permanently scarred with nostalgia for the competing simplicity and complexity of life in the world of treeplanting a decade or so ago, and a desire for a greater presence in arts and literature to dive into the rich humus of relationships forged amidst the hardship and wildness of it all. Josh Barkey has done that with Pounders..."

- Jess

Click HERE to browse the first few pages on, and HERE to pick a copy up on amazon in Canada.

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Everything that's wrong with Ridley Scott's film THE MARTIAN in one screenshot.

THE MARTIAN was easily one of the very best movies of 2015. I know, because it appeared on my top ten list last year and if I can't trust my own taste in movies, well, I'm pretty much screwed as a screenwriter. 

I loved everything about that movie, right up to the very last scene. 

You know the one. The one where astronaut Mark Watney (a.k.a. Matt Frickin' Damon) is lecturing a bunch of NASA hopefulsbeing all charming and whatnot as they track his every move with their adoring little eyes. 

I'm sure it bothered you as much as it did me to notice that every single one of the science nerds in that room was model-level good looking. You noticed, and realized (as I did) that the reason they were all super-hot was not because "this is Hollywood," and there are hot people everywhere. It was because someone (probably director Ridley Scott) really, really likes the Space-Mission ethos and wanted to make it seem extra hip and cool. They got to the end of their well-nigh-on-perfect film and they thought, "Y'know what... we did a good thing, here... but maybe not good enough. Maybe the preceding two hours and twenty minutes didn't quite sell it. We need a room full of hotties to really bring it home."

Okay, yeah. I see your objection: that all the actors playing astronauts throughout the film were model-good-looking, or at least close to it—so why quibble about a few extras? 

Here's why:

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