Dear Soon-to-be-Neglected Lover...
I'm running off to Kentucky, where the internet is sparse and my desire for it even sparser.
The purpose of this neglect is to visit old friends and make some new ones, from the fourteenth to at least the eighteenth of this month. And no matter what my neuroses demands, I shan't be ignoring them just to spend time with you, who are (let's face it) amorphous, somewhat-immaterial, and almost-completely unlikely to give me a back rub or bake me a delicious quiche.
I'll most likely be taking pictures of said quiche, though, and I promise that if/when I return, I shall fulfill the prime objective of the internets by inundating you with said pictures.
Enjoy your respective interims.