Saturday, May 19, 2012

A Disturbance in the Force!

So... I had this dream last night where I got in a light-saber fight with Steven Furtick in front of his whole congregation. Furtick is pastor to one of the largest, fastest-growing "congregations"* in the country - Elevation - and is as hipster as his church-name sounds.

Normally, I don't give two licks of a llama's tail what any megachurch pastor does. I think it's okay to attack Furtick with a light-saber, though, because he's a year younger than I - and therefore fair game (according to Bible Rules) for dis-respect. In fact, I am allowed to cut his head off with a light-saber. Happened all the time, back in Bible days.

Before I could decapitate him, though, men in suits came in a helicopter and whisked me away to play a role as one of the "angry hordes" in the next James Bond movie. True story. Very hush-hush.

Nonetheless, I took this dream as an undeniable sign from above that I am free to post a picture I made earlier this year, which I have heretofore kept private, so as not to be terminated from my job. I think probably half the kids I teach are Furtick's skinny-jean-clad apostles, but since I'm losing my job in a month, anyways... bring on the poop-storm:



*They meet at, like, seventy-times-seven different campuses, so I'm not sure it's fair to call them a "congregation," in the best sense of the word. They do congregate - just not together.

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