Friday, March 16, 2012

Zen and the Art of Relationship-Maintenance

I've been wondering, lately, if this blog is just a comfortable distraction from the more involved living and creating I deep-down feel I ought to be doing. It is far easier to cognate and write about something that is true (or at least, something I for-a-time-believe-to-be-true) than it is to actually internalize and then live it.

Shouldn't I better oughta git out and git livin'?

Take, for example, the question of women - and yes, they are a question: one I've been asking myself for a very, very long time. In that time, I've gotten a lot of great answers, and one of the best of them might be that women are not an answer at all; and that if they are in any way to help me rest from all my questionings, I'm going to have to relax a little - to abandon the fear-prompted desire that keeps me wondering ever-further into the illusive phantasms of possession and control.

I know this. I know I cannot own a woman, any more than I can own an eagle, or any other gorgeous, momentous being on this here spinning, elliptical globe of awesomeness. I also know the desire that drives me to try to control and contain a woman is the very thing that keeps me from getting what I really want: an expansive, selfless, unconditional intimacy. I know this, yes... but I very rarely live it. 

So the question at hand is this: is there value at all in writing about this? Is this really getting me any closer to what I want? Or should I, rather, close the laptop, shut off my mind, and go sit down outside under a tree writing love poems - or better yet, reciting them... in person... to an actual woman

The answer, of course, is yes. And also, no. I suppose in the end, all I can do is shrug and say (slash-write), in the immortal words of Popeye the Sailor Man, "I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam." Writing is a way of Being too, I suppose - if, perhaps, a less risky one.

2 comments:

  1. Well, if you lived here still, I'd take you out. I suck as a 'wingman,' but you won't need me, not with love poetry in hand.

    Very few great writers have had long-standing mutually nurturing relationships with women. It's just one of those sacrifices artists make.

    But you can paint! That's huge. Start painting portraits, and move onto nudes. And before you can say "Picasso" you will be at least ankle deep in women. LoL

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  2. Mwah ha hah! Not sure what "ankle deep in women" would look like, Mark, but I'm pretty sure it'd be terrifying.

    Good thing I'm an anecdote, and not a statistic! :)

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