beautiful madness

Last night in my dream, after eating the most delicious peach, being a soccer star, and defeating several monstrous goons in combat, I noticed that my dad was suddenly there, lying on the floor, collapsed. He seemed to have nothing to do with the arc of the dream; he was just there: collapsed, awake, confused - a victim of the inevitable ravages of mortality.

I helped him toward the bathroom and found him paper and pen because he wanted to write a note to his sister. I asked him if he'd like to call my mother and he said, "No... she'd just worry."

It was a dream, sure, but it was the most horrible thing that had ever happened to me; and just now - thinking about it - I find a fear dripping from the corner of one eye as I think once again of how death intrudes, inevitably, into all our dreams, spiking the most piquant, yearning, incompleteness in our hearts as we are caught in the crossfire of love and death that is the Cain-mark of our condition.

Joy and fear, love and pride. They are an inescapable dialectic that is remarkable, primarily, for this: it is so, so beautiful.


  1. True Wisdom is the capacity for perfect madness.
    This ecstatic declaration was made by the author below.

    What is the Truth of our condition? Is it really darkened by some ignorantly imagined "Cain-mark".

    This beautiful prose work describes what our always already condition of perfect madness requires of us in each moment.

  2. If you're going to call me ignorant, ya oughtta at least own in by putting your name to it, good sir/madam.

    And yes, I am aware that referring to someone's ignorance is not an insult - merely an assertion of a lack of education. So, here's some education for you: The Mark of Cain, imagined or not, is not a sign of failure or brokeness, it is a sign of Love and Grace.

    In the biblical story of Cain and Abel, after Cain kills his brother, God tells him he's gotta leave his family and strike out on his own. Cain freaks out - he is, after all, the world's first murderer - and says that everyone out there will want to kill him. So God has compassion on him and puts a protective mark on his forehead, so that no one can/will hurt him.

    The story of the Mark of Cain is a mystic story, more magical than anything. Yes, the Mark is a reminder of the horrible thing he has done. But it is also a simultaneous reminder that God is still with him.

    Perhaps you've never murdered anyone, or (although I sincerely doubt it) done anything truly regrettable. But it is is my contention that those of us who have increased the pain of the world with our actions, the story of Cain is a reminder that our cruelty is not the end of the story... that God is ultimately the Healer of all.


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