telephonication

I saw an ad for Sprint on Hulu touting the virtues of their phone plan, and even though I do not own a cellular telecommunications device, I would like to congratulate them on their marketing.

First, because when I went on their website, the first thing I saw, under a big, yellow dollar sign, was the slogan, "Happiness Guaranteed." I mean - what other product can I buy that guarantees my happiness?

Second, I'm really proud of them for their family plan, which takes a family that perhaps once wallowed in despair with only one land-line for, like, thirty bucks a month, and now has the option of buying a family cell plan for only $189.99 a month (excluding taxes, fees, and surcharges). How nifty is that!?!

Finally, I'm stoked they've managed to charge extra for texting, when they know full well that all texts ride piggyback on signals the cell phones would be sending to the towers anyways in order to "locate" themselves. Selling nothing for something is, like, the crowning achievement of marketing awesomeness!

Right on, guys! Three cheers for progress!