Thursday, February 17, 2011

Luis "Sucuri" Togno: Rest in Peace

On Monday when Luis Togno sat down next to me at the Sucuri dojo in Waxhaw, North Carolina, I didn't really have any idea who he was. Sure, I knew that he was a thickset Latino wearing a Gi and that he was going to try to teach my son some moves; but if you had told me that he was one of the top-ranked martial arts experts in North America, I probably would have laughed at you.

I had met him twice before, and each time he had walked straight over and greeted me with a broad, gentle smile and a handshake that radiated warmth and - dare I say it - love. The first time this happened, I was a little flustered. I am always a bit uncomfortable meeting new people, and bigger men usually make me feel overly aware of my own diminutive frame. Luis was not tall, but he was solid; with that loose-limbed confidence with which life-long athletes seem to carry themselves. Despite this, there was something inherently non-threatening about the man, and I instantly found myself drawn to him.

My friend Zebulon is a teacher at the dojo, so the first time I met Luis, I asked him if he trained with Zeb. He gave a good-natured half-chuckle and said, "actually, I own the school." And then he shrugged and looked away, as if to change the topic - to perhaps spare me any embarrassment.

There was no presumption in the man. None. No banners proclaiming his exalted presence. No bowing and scraping from Zeb or the patrons. He was just Luis... a great guy.

On Monday when I opened the door and looked in it was just Luis, another boy and my son standing on the mat. True to form, Luis walked over and greeted me. As we moved into the dojo together, I nodded towards the tank-like men in the training video playing on the flat-panel tv-screen and asked if he thought he could take those guys. His smile faded just a fraction and he looked away. "Those are the Gracie brothers," he said, "I trained with them for eight years."

I could hear genuine affection in his voice for these godfathers of the sport, and felt for a brief moment the crassness of my question - the way it did a disservice to the core principles and ideals of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Embarrassed, I sat down in a wire-mesh chair facing the mat and picked up a magazine written in Portuguese, pretending to understand what I was looking at. Luis, unperturbed, sat down next to me in his relaxed way. We talked of the school. Of life. His phone rang and even his ringtone was subdued, non-threatening: a low human voice, whispering urgently, "Psst. Hey, you. Over there. Psst. Hey."

He turned to me with an apologetic smile. "Today's been crazy. One of those days," he said. He got up, answered the phone, and then came back to teach my son, Mateo, to roll. He was gentle, kind, and playful. He put his feet on Mateo's stomach, locked hands with him, and brought him smoothly into the air, tucking him and rolling him onto the floor. Mateo loved it, but when after a while Luis tried to get him to do another exercise and Mateo claimed he couldn't because it was too hard, he shrugged and came back to sit next to me.

"I don't like to pressure them at that age," he said as he watched the two boys running around and tumbling all over the mat. "Just wait, though," he went on, "when his Gi comes he'll begin to associate this place with training, and not just playtime." Luis smiled at the boys' antics, unconcerned. Eventually, he got Mateo to try something else. The Thursday before, I had filmed Mateo training with Zeb. I thought about photographing him with Luis, but did not have my camera. It did not seem to matter.

Then yesterday when I picked Mateo up after work, his mother told me with tears in her eyes that Luis had been in a horrible wreck, that he was on life support, and that it did not look good.

Today, I stayed home from work to take Mateo to the doctor, and when I stopped by his mother's workplace on the way home to tell her the prognosis on Mateo's feverish past few days she, in turn, told me that Luis had died... was dead.

"Okay," I answered. "I'm sorry." I felt as though I should say more. I wanted to say more; but after all - I barely knew him.

At four-thirty today, though, I started to cry. I was sitting on the couch, thinking of Luis, and the tears suddenly began to flow. "Why you sad, Dadu?" Mateo asked, and I did not know what to say.

"You remember Luis?" I asked, crying.

"Yeah, yeah," he answered, his little eyes lighting up. My heart cracked a little. Something irretrievable leaked out.

I wanted to be real with my son. I wanted to tell him the truth. "Well..." I started, but I could not quite do it. "Something bad happened with Luis," I said, "and it's making me..."

"No-no," Mateo cut in, "nothing bad happened." He paused. "You want play hide-and-seek?" he asked. "That will make you feel happy, Dadu."

I nodded, unable to speak. I sat there, then, holding my beautiful boy and crying for a lovely human life cut so grotesquely short.

"Wail, for the world's wrong," wrote Percy Bysshe Shelley, and there are times when I feel that all I have within me is one long, keening wail. I have cried for death before, and for lives brutalized and diminished by the selfish cruelty that seems to be our peculiar birthright as humans. I cry, now, writing this, and I begin to feel that all the sorrow in all the world is connected: a vast, unstoppable flood of grief rising up and burying the cries of those who mourn and feel no comfort.

I have written of this whelming sorrow before, after the Haiti earthquake, and now, as then, I am overcome.

On Monday, I sat with Luis Tongo. Although he did not know me, he showed me love. Because he showed me love, I felt pain at his passing. And so the two - love and pain - became entwined. I do not understand this. I do not yet quite see the beauty in it. But I feel it may be there.

Somewhere.

13 comments:

  1. again... Josh.. thanks for sharing your life... love & pain... it will result in growth... mama sanden

    ReplyDelete
  2. thank you, mama Sanden, for joining me.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tacky though it may have been, I'm glad you linked from Richard's blog.

    Thanks for this.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you, Matthew. I vacillate wildly between suspecting that I have allowed the internet to suck me into endless narcissian seas, and believing that it has given me an unexpected opportunity to create and share my work without the pesky intrusion of intermediaries. The balance, I hope, will eventually fall to the latter.

    ReplyDelete
  5. beautifully written. Thank you Josh for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Beautiful piece on Luis. I am a student of his, not just his jiu jitsu but his manner. He will be sorely missed and fondly remembered.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you for sharing that. I had the privilege of taking some classes with Sensei Luis at The Greatest Camp on Earth (a martial arts camp held yearly in Matthews, NC). I never saw Sensei Luis without a smile on his face, ever. He was a genuinely good person, and a great instructor.

    We lost one of the good guys.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Very well written & your words captured the spirit & memories I also have of Luis. I, too, only knew him for a short time. And I, too, cried for him this week. I will miss his terrific smile and great big hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thanks Josh for sharing about Luis' life and the impact he made.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank you all for adding your thoughts and experience of Luis.

    ReplyDelete
  11. luis had that spark that made him approachable and warming.. his personality.. was infectious.. so loving.. i miss you luis.. wish i could have told you how much you meant to me.. that will never happen.. yet i know.. that perhaps.. some divine intervention.. you know how all of us love you my friend!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I was a student as well when i started taking classes i didnt have a great paying job and he let me join paying the kids rate just so i can train i will never forget that he didnt care about money he enjoyed teaching he will be missed i was even thinking about going back this summer to start training again i havent trained in years very sad to hear about his loss the world just lost a great person..

    ReplyDelete
  13. I was Luis's student for about 3 months in 2006 before I had to move, and everything you said about the way he carried himself is right on. I just moved back to Charlotte and was looking at his site to see about joining again when I read about the terrible news.

    I've trained and taught in other martial arts for 30 years, and Luis was truly a great martial artist and teacher. He had deep knowledge and experience that he shared with his students in a humble, positive and nurturing manner. He held nothing back, and was never cocky or arrogant about his achievements or jujitsu. I believe he was one of these old-school teachers who would have trained and taught into his old age like the eldest Gracies, and it's a terrible loss that he's gone so soon. Rest in peace, Luis.

    Thanks for your eloquent piece, Josh.

    ReplyDelete

Support my writing habit: click below to...

SOME POSTS THAT'VE BEEN POPULAR, RECENTLY...

CHECK OUT MY FIRST BOOK ON GOODREADS...